Wednesday, August 29, 2012


Hurricane Isaac and

 Fairhope, Alabama

The Weather Channel.com

Introduction

Isaac impacted the shores of southern Louisiana on August 27, 2012 as a hurricane category 1 with wind speeds of 80 mph. The outer bands of the storm reached all the way to the tip of Florida's panhandle crossing Mobile Bay. On the eastern shore of Mobile Bay is the beautiful and sturdy town of Fairhope, Alabama. This hub-page will give evidence to the effects of a category 1 hurricane as far as the outer bands are concerned.

Beach Erosion

In Contrast to the Scientific American's article on "What Causes Beach Erosion?" this storm could not be stopped by lowering greenhouse gases. There is a simple function to nature and nature will be nature, just as people will be people.

Beaches occur in nature due to tides bringing sand from the ocean floor and depositing it in certain areas. Then we as people become comfortable with those luxuries and wish for them to stay. In other words we decide to tell Mother Nature what to do. We even develop programs, such as Florida Department of Environment Protection Agency's Beach Erosion Control Program (BECP) to prevent those beaches from going away. Doesn't always work out that way.
In the early hours following Isaac's destruction beach erosion in Fairhope, Alabama is prevalent. The tide rose higher than predicted and continued to wash ashore following the land impact in Louisiana.
Before the Hurricane

After the Hurricane








Debris

Debris was minor. Pine needles and pine cones littered the streets and sidewalks. Branches littered the beach. No sea life was found washed ashore. Town crews were out before regular workers to pick up major debris and to see if any major damage was done for the safety of our citizens.





Water Levels

The NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) operates a website called Tides Online. It provides users with the most accurate graphical water level and meteorological data concerning water level stations in our country. Water level stations are placed in typical areas where hurricanes and other tropical storms generally occur. That website can be found at www.tidesonline.nos.noaa.gov
As of Wed, 8/29/12, the actual water levels have exceeded the NOAA predictions by at least three feet in all the coastal Alabama water stations. As of Wednesday morning, here in Fairhope the water levels have risen to the tops of our beaches and to the very tips of our docks.

                                                              Before the Hurricane

After the Hurricane



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Thursday, August 23, 2012

Divorce: To Stay or To Go

Part of "The Choices We Make" Series

 
 Sometimes the choice of divorce may very well break down to the old Shakespearean quote of, "To be or not to be, that is the question." Whether to live in a continual state of pain, denial and regret or to put the past behind you and move forward with life anew. There is something to be said for starting over.

However, there is also something to be said for hanging in there and fighting for the one with whom you have so much time, pain, sweat and tears invested. It comes down to a choice we make, weighing the pros and the cons for ourselves, and if we have children foreseeing what consequences might befall on them regarding the choice we make, and finally following through whole heartedly with that choice.

This is not a life decision that should be considered rashly. Take time and consider these key factors:

1. What is your body telling you? Learn to listen to your body. In the time since you've been married have you put on weight? Have you started taking depression medication? Do you bite off the head of every person that asks you a question? Or have you managed to remain calm, rational and at peace, in other words have your physical needs been met? This is a huge key and not one to be over looked. There are too many partners out there that couldn't give a rat's behind about your physical needs. If you have one weigh your factors carefully.


2. What is your heart telling you? In women mostly, our hearts usually scream out one of two things...I'm loved or I'm abandoned/neglected. Your partner took a vow to help fill your heart while you took a vow to help fill his. If you succeed in this vow and he fails, or vice versa, one heart goes full while the other remains empty. No wonder you feel empty inside all the time. Its no small wonder how a man can, probably honestly so, act surprised to learn his wife feels neglected standing there with her empty heart, while he is nurturing his own full heart.


3. Is your partner willing to seek marriage counseling? You should not have to beg. If he/she is not willing to upgrade or improve your marriage then they are not invested in it. Its that simple.


4. Watch your partners actions. Many times in prolonged tenseful situations our mouths will speak out only on and in the pain and not what is truly in the heart. Our actions, though, will speak volumes. Does he turn the light off for you at night? Does he still check the oil in your car? Does he do anything that can be considered looking out for you or protecting you, even if in a small way? If so, his heart is still in play.


5. Are there medical problems involved? Has there been a recent change in your partner's actions and behaviors? You might want to consider talking with his/her medical care physician. There are a list of problems that could impact a recent change in temperament. It wouldn't hurt to become aware of anything new, especially if it will impact your future.



6. Is the state of tension in the house escalating or something that comes and goes? If it is escalating then your mind has already been made up and you just frustrated at yourself for not acting on it.

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7. Consider how his family treats you. You might be in denial of this as well. Have you been working your hiney off for them while they close the door in your face? Do you get overlooked when they go out places? Or are you truly one of the family? Family can be a key and obvious hint. There is no telling what your spouse is telling them when you're not around.

WITH REGARD TO CHILDREN

8. Take a day or two and just watch what your home environment has become. What are your children being raised in? Is it a volatile environment while you and your spouse think you are creating a happy home. Children can pick up on the slightest fracture of tension. You are not fooling anyone. For their sake alone a decision needs to be made soon.



_________________________________________

As you might have read in my bio I recently went through a divorce. My husband and I were married for 19 years. We did not have a strong marriage but I was devoted and very loyal to him. Every day he tried his best to avoid me, not just recently, every day since our first week of marriage. He did not meet my needs physically or emotionally and I gained 100 pounds over the course of our marriage. I worked my butt off trying to keep him happy with his job and doing things for his family. It got to the point where his nephew refused to accept me as a friend on Facebook, after I had done countless things for him and his marriages/babies, and his niece treated me as a stranger at the door when I came to say hello and kiss the babies, after I had just gone in the red throwing her a baby shower.

I asked my husband to go to marriage counseling with me. His reply was, "No one knows more about marriage than me." Tension in our home was terrible and our kids were suffering for it. I could no longer ignore it.

These things together with the steps taken above made me realize I was only fooling myself. My body already knew I was miserable. My heart definitely knew I was miserable. My brain and my pride still could not accept the truth. I couldn't believe I had married someone who never loved me. I couldn't believe I had stayed in such torment and for so long without being the strong woman I knew I was, for the simple label of being someone's wife, (well, and keeping to my vow, which was also important). Yet, once I realized my vow and marriage was broken long ago by my husband, when he chose not to uphold his end, that I was dragging a dead horse in the dirt, then I was able to accept the truth and Free Myself!

Four months later I've already lost 50 pounds. Now that is happiness and strength. And just yesterday my kids, who are so much happier than I've seen them in a long time, told me they don't understand why kids today have such a hard time with divorce.

To much depends on the outcome of your decision. If you are facing anything similar to what I was facing don't continue lingering in self denial and self abuse. You will know when you are ready to make your choice. Believe in yourself and make it. If you are lucky enough to have the opportunity and reason to fight for your marriage then stay and fight. A good partner is worth the time and effort.
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All Alone Again. 

What to do while the kids are at school.

That time of yearly abandonment has come again. You drop the kids off at school or take them with the dogs to the neighborhood bus stop. On the way home you wonder, "What the hell am I going to do now?"

Ten years ago, while they were still in diapers that wouldn't have been an issue. You would have loved to escape into the world and leave your crying, screaming, puke smelling, colicky, terror-inducing baby in someone else's hands. But somehow, since then, they have managed to wiggle their way into your heart and thoroughly occupy your schedule as well.

Prolonged loneliness can lead to some terrible things. All of which you do not deserve. You are a wonderful person and a great mother or father.

“Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?”
― Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart

Go ahead and take a risk and put yourself out there. There are a variety of ways you can express yourself and ways to share yourself with the world now that your children are in school.

1. Take an online class. Perk up your brain and get some learning done. 

2. Find a part time job. Working part time is a great way to meet new friends and get a little bit of spending money for yourself.

3. Volunteer in your kids' school. If your kids are elementary through middle school the schools love parent volunteers. There are so many ways to serve.

4. Volunteer at your local hospital. Every Hospital usually has a volunteer services department. Check in with them to see what their specific needs are. 

5. Go treasure hunting for the most perfect item and limit yourself to just one perfect item. Think of it as an adventure. Be careful not to turn it into a shopping spree. Depression and shopping is a BAD combination.

6. Become a consultant. Some plans are Lia Sophia, Avon, Tastefully Simple, and Scensy. 

7. Attend some clubs. Book clubs are numerous in the south. Your local book store should know all about those types of clubs. Your local library will also have a list of the local clubs in your area.

8. Lead a local Girl Scout or Boy Scout troop.

9. Join a sporting league. A typical bowling league usually takes 3 hours one day of the week.

10. Start working out at the gym. A good thirty minutes three to five times a week will do your body all sorts of good.

11. Work on your inner being. I cannot recommend high enough the book, "Captivating " by John and Stasi Eldredge. If you want to know what makes us women tick and what we strive for in life, this book will lay it all out for you in black and white. They also write one about the inner workings of the man called, "Wild at Heart."

12. Start walking around the neighborhood everyday. What better way to meet people and learn who your neighbors are and what secret daily events they are up to.

Heidi Smith Luedtke in her article, "Ten things to do while the kids are away, " for Washington Family Magazine.com, http://www.washingtonfamily.com/page/Ten-Things-to-Do-While-the-Kids-Are-Away , gives you her suggestions for how to erase the blues of being all alone during the school year.

I would suggest taking a well deserved nap, or two. But don't stay in bed too long. You are to much of a valuable resource and special person to linger inside all day. Go enjoy your life and your day!

All in all, life can and will begin again. A new outlook is on the horizon, just needs to be ordered is all. Once you find peace in the solitude you will wonder, come May, how the hell you are going to survive the summer with your kids home all day. 

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